What is Gestalt psychotherapy?

Gestalt is a relational and experiential approach that helps you become more aware of how you experience the world, yourself, and others.

The word Gestalt is a German term that means “whole” or “form” — Gestalt therapy supports you in becoming more aware of your thoughts, emotions, body, and patterns, so you can experience yourself more fully and authentically.

It focuses on what’s happening in the present moment — how you feel, what you sense, and what you need, with particular attention to how these experiences emerge within relationships, including the therapeutic one.

What personally drew me to Gestalt was that there is not “the expert” in the room who tells you what to do, but that there would be a real meeting between two human beings who are both unique, and that there is an authentic encounter happening rather than the therapist wearing a mask and not showing anything about themselves.

When we experience a traumatic upbringing or when our parents did not offer us what we needed when we were children, then this will most likely still show up for us in the here-and-now. This might be that we were not shown the love, affection or interest that we hoped for, that we needed to say “yes” all the time so that we didn’t end up being rejected, or maybe we needed to defend ourselves from being violated or attacked, either physically or verbally, to get through.

There could have been emotional or physical traumatic experiences, and because we were children who were dependent on the care of our parents or caregivers, we “soaked” up this experience and we may now still be stuck in patterns that no longer serve us, often in the relationships with those we love and care about most. This could also be related to other traumatic experiences, even if not related to caregivers.

We often notice our patterns either by how we respond to others, for example when we can’t say “no” and forget our own needs, or when we constantly attune to others trying to find out what they need, or, for example, by defending ourselves more than necessary. We might also hide away and avoid conflict altogether. Maybe we struggle with an “inner critic”, constantly telling ourselves that what we do is not good enough. Often, this voice can be one that we have experienced in the past by caregivers or other people close to us.

Perhaps these experiences also show up in our nervous system and in our body. Our body is extremely intelligent and mirrors back to us if something feels “off”. Sometimes, we unconsciously learned to suppress our experience so much that our system learns it is safer to express struggles through the body, such as through psychosomatic symptoms.

If we feel depressed, it may be that the body wants to communicate to us that we need a rest, or that we need to take time to look within rather than distracting ourselves or suppressing our experiences.

Therapy can help us to explore this in a space with someone who can show us compassion where we didn’t receive that compassion in the past when we grew up. We can learn to show up with our real feelings and needs and vulnerabilities, and can be seen and validated. The therapist can be available and offer a non-judgemental curiosity which helps to explore patterns in a safe space.

In Gestalt, the therapist also aims to show up in authenticity and be honest with you, in a gentle way — sharing what one notices in contact with you within this safe space, that hopefully will serve you and help you move forward, and let go of those patterns that do not serve you any longer, even if they once served you when you grew up. It will also help you to communicate in a much more authentic, and respectful way without denying your own truth.

The beauty of the therapeutic relationship is that we can both bring ourselves in and help you raise awareness.

‍ ‍“Dialogue is the meeting of two persons… each is changed by the encounter.” (Gary Yontef)

To summarise, rather than focusing on “fixing” symptoms, Gestalt therapy gently explores the patterns and protective strategies you’ve developed over time. It can be especially supportive if you’re looking to deepen your relationship with yourself, explore emotions more fully, or feel more connected and authentic in your life and relationships. It can help you understand and shift long-standing patterns and support healing from past wounds.

“The human heart yearns for contact – above all it yearns for genuine dialogue… Each of us secretly and desperately yearns to be ‘met’ – to be recognized in our uniqueness, our fullness and our vulnerability.” (Hycner & Jacobs)