Why Talking About Trauma Isn’t Always About the Past
When people hear the word trauma, they often think of something specific and dramatic — a single event, an accident, an assault, or a clear moment where life suddenly changed.
But trauma isn’t always only about what happened.
Very often, it’s about what had to happen inside you in order to cope.
Many people I work with don’t initially come to therapy saying, “I have trauma.” Instead, they might describe feeling constantly on edge, emotionally shut down, overly responsible for others, or stuck in patterns they can’t seem to change. Others notice that relationships feel exhausting, that they struggle to express anger or needs, or that they carry a deep sense of shame or self-criticism without fully knowing why.
From a psychological perspective, these experiences often make sense when we understand trauma not just as an event, but as an ongoing adaptation.
Trauma as adaptation, not pathology
Through my work as a CBT therapist — including extensive experience with PTSD and depression — I’ve seen how early experiences, particularly in childhood, can shape the ways we learn to cope and relate to the world.
People often develop unspoken inner rules such as:
Don’t need too much
Stay quiet to stay safe
Be strong and cope alone
Anticipate others’ needs before your own
At some point, these patterns were creative and protective. They helped you survive emotionally, belong, or stay connected in environments that may not have felt safe, predictable, or attuned to your needs.
Over time, however, these same adaptations can begin to feel limiting or painful. What once helped you cope may now keep you stuck — disconnected from yourself, your body, or your relationships.
In Gestalt psychotherapy, these patterns are often understood as creative adjustments: intelligent ways your system learned to cope. The work isn’t about judging or trying to eliminate them, but about becoming curious and compassionate toward how they developed — and noticing whether they are still needed now.
Why trauma work isn’t always only about revisiting the past
For some people — particularly those with PTSD — carefully revisiting past experiences within a structured, trauma-focused approach can be an important and effective part of healing.
At the same time, trauma often shows up very clearly in the present moment:
in how you relate to others
in how you respond to conflict
in what happens in your body when emotions arise
in the urge to withdraw, please, control, or shut down
Gestalt therapy focuses on gently bringing awareness to these patterns as they appear now — in everyday life and within the therapeutic relationship itself. This allows change to emerge through understanding, presence, and choice, rather than pressure.
My background in CBT and trauma-informed work informs this process. It helps me recognise how trauma responses such as hypervigilance, avoidance, or emotional numbing operate, while my Gestalt training supports a slower, relational way of exploring them. The emphasis is on safety, pacing, and respecting your nervous system, rather than pushing for insight or catharsis.
Trauma, the body, and awareness
Trauma isn’t only held in thoughts or memories. It often lives in the body — in tension, breath, posture, or a persistent sense of being “on guard.”
Becoming aware of these signals can be an important part of healing, but only when it feels safe and supported.
In therapy, this might look like noticing what happens when you speak about certain topics, how your body responds in moments of closeness or distance, or which emotions feel easier — or harder — to stay with. Nothing is forced, and there is no expectation to go anywhere you’re not ready to go.
A different way of understanding yourself
If you’ve ever felt that something about you is “too much” or “not enough,” trauma-informed Gestalt psychotherapy offers a different lens. Instead of asking What’s wrong with me?, we explore How did this make sense? — and What might I need now?
Over time, this can support a greater sense of integration, where different parts of you feel less at odds with each other and more able to coexist with understanding and care.
If this way of thinking about trauma resonates with you, you’re welcome to get in touch. You don’t need a diagnosis or a clear story of what happened. Therapy can begin exactly where you are.
